A funny little story about how I nearly had a heart attack just now

One time when I was around 9 my mother gave me her ATM card and pin and asked me to walk to the bank to get $60 for her. Which I did. Being 9 it didn't occur to me that if she couldn't get herself to the bank 5 blocks away she couldn't get herself to a place to spend $60. Someone was probably bringing her drugs. But that's beside the point. I lost the $60 somewhere between the bank and home. My mother was furious! Super furious. She told me to go retrace my steps and find it. Which I did, the retracing my steps part but the $60 was long gone. I had a large tub of pennies and my mother made me roll them all (6000 pennies) to pay her back. It came to almost exactly $60 and my 9-year-old life savings was gone.


But from that day forward I never lost anything again. Not my keys, wallet, phone, nothing what-so-ever. Until May 28 last year.

I've been on a real losing streak. Since then I've lost:

My laptop
3 phones
My wallet (twice)
Cash (a $20 here a $10 there)
The woman I love
My car (it was "stolen" but that wouldn't have happened if I hadn't left it unlocked with the keys on the front seat)
Probably many other small things

That brings us to the nearly having a heart attack.

I've got a lot of cash with me -- a bit under $50,0000. (this, by the way, is why I haven't disclosed which hotel I'm at). So that I wouldn't lose the money I hid most of it from myself in my hotel room. About an hour ago I decide I need some of it, and I begin looking... everywhere. Between the mattresses, in drawers, under things, behind things. It's a one-bedroom suite but it's not huge. There aren't a lot of places to hide things. Don't ask me why I didn't put it in the room safe, it should be obvious by now that I have completely lost my mind (another thing I've lost recently).

I finally found it... in my MacBook box. Probably the stupidest place to hide it. If someone is going to grab something from my room that's probably the first thing they'd grab.

My heart was thumping like it's never done before. It is going to be some kind of miracle if I make it home with that money. Assuming I made it home at all.